Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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