you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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