Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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