In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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