I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
