My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
