I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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