Sponge bath it is.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
