Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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