she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
