We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
