im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize
