I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
