Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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