just come out here and I will go home with you...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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