I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
