dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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