wanna go halves on a baby?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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