My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
