normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize