Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
