I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I will pee on everything he values.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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