Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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