i just had sex bonerless
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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