I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
