when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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