Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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