Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
