that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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