I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
