Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
