wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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