K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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