DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
