You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
