We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
