I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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