Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
