Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
