There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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