I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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