i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
