dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
