he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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