my phone needs a breathalizer
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
sarcasm needs its own font
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I want is dick and wine.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
