Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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