Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
