Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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