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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
