she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
