if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
