he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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