Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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