I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
