Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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