I can tuck mytits in my pants
This house was built for laser tag.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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