I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
PANTIES FOUND
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
