the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
