Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
